Wellies and jellies

Je to úkol na takovej můj... spešl předmět. Teda předmět by to byl podle názvu docela normální (Britské reálie formou videa), ale díky tomu učiteli není. Za ten půlrok jsme neviděli ani jedno video, jen si prezentujem "co nejoriginálnější" prezentace a pak o nich lehce diskutujem (já měla na holinky, pak byl dobrej nápad Nejdivnější zákony Británie, Lochnesska apod.). No a na závěr máme napsat cokoliv, co se bude týkat tý naší prezentace. Nebo o tom natočit video. Tak jsem napsala básničku, která sice není o holinkách, ale figurujou v ní. A je to strašná fraška :D. Aby vám došel celej ten "vtip", doporučuju si přečíst alespoň pár slok Havrana od E. A. Poea a The Tyger od Williama Blaka... moje 2 nejoblíbenější básničky, mimochodem :)
No, snad se pobavíte. A snad mě za to nevyloučej, až se jim to dostane do rukou :D

Once upon a midnight dreary,

Everything looked really eerie.

Everything was so, so creepy

And I wasn’t even sleepy.

So I put on my old wellies

Grab few pieces of sour jellies

And approach the wooden door

Carrying sweets and nothing more.

It was raining, it was cold,

In the darkness a wolf howled.

Even though there was no moon

It was long time before noon.

I was sliding on the mud

As the soil was waterlogged.

“What am I here looking for?

I’m doing this never more!”

Suddenly I was in forest

Sheltering me as a fortress,

Problem was I couldn’t see

What was right in front of me.

I had my arms tightly crossed,

I was freezing and got lost.

Still I kept on going on.

“Worst could be now nothing more.”

I started to have a feeling

That there were two creatures breathing,

I did neither stop, nor look

The noises all my courage took.

But I walked then much more faster

And my head filled up with laughter:

“You are crazy,” the voice swore.

“There’s just you and no one more.”

Then a lightening crossed the sky

And my mouth went all, all dry.

A growling wolf stood by a tree

Looking deadly straight at me.

I was quiet, I was shaking

Plans in head I started making.

“There’s no chance he’ll let me go

I’ll come back home never more!”

“Wolfie, wolfie, burning bright,  

In the forests of the night,

Would you like something to eat?

Anything except for me?”

Something told me it was not right

I will have to put on a fight.

But I had only my wellies

And a pocket full of jellies.

With his body he knocked me down,

My mind started spinning around.

Then I filled up my fist with sweets.

“Let’s see who whom defeats!”

I pushed my hand in his mouth

“In a while I’ll be running south!”

He tried to chew it with his teeth

And I remembered how to breathe.

I slipped past his giant paws,

Snatching myself from his jaws.

I was running up the hill,

Hurried by the biggest thrill

And just before the break of day

I was standing in my hallway

Slapping the old wooden door.

“I’m going out never more!”

In my clothes I went to bed,

Lay down wet and smelling bad,

Closing my eyes nice and slowly

Then I heard a sound unholy.

So I forced myself to sit up.

“My tree had the bird to pick up!”

He opened his beak and stormed:

“You will not sleep ever more!”

I was tired and exhausted

“I’d prefer if you were roasted!”

I took off my rubber boot

And stood on my naked foot.

I aimed at the bastard’s head

And he fell down maybe dead.

“With my boots and jellies sore

No one beats me ever more!”

Tohle je taky docela sranda, obzvlášť, když o těch spisovatelích něco víte. Akorát se to nedá stíhat, buď pauzovat nebo pustit víckrát, ale je to překvapivě chytrý :)